Above

from by Cemetentiary

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I sit here and wonder, hold a gun to my head
Do I need this life? Would I be better off dead?
Who would miss me? The ones that I love?
But do they really love me? Would it matter up above?

A choice lurks ahead, how should I go?
Can I die fast and painless, or do I deserve it slow?
I have to admit my life caused so much pain
A person like me deserves to be hanged

Full of hatred, bigots, and hypocrites
This world is cruel, and I feel I don’t fit
Years of trying to find purpose
Nothing to find, no purpose exists

This isn't the first time I've tried, but it will be the last
Endless bottles of pills couldn't take me, nor the deepest gash

Full of hatred, bigots, and hypocrites
This world is cruel, and I feel I don’t fit
Years of trying to find purpose
Nothing to find, no purpose exists

As my life begins to fade, I see my friend run in
Grasping me close as she cries, I feel so thin
I can't move or talk, and she can see I did not miss
She whispers softly "I'm sorry, you did not deserve this"
A bullet will be my final thought as it splits my brain
I dive into my suicide without a doubt to name

Who would miss me? The ones that I love?
But do they really love me? Would it matter up above?

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from Cemetentiary, released May 4, 2013

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